Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I've got more faults than the state of Califronia

I've arrived in Portland, Oregon,  where the people are weird and the whether is lovely.
Here's some details on my 17 hour trip to get here.
Supplies for the trip: Russian rye loaf, Pringles - Buffalo Wing flavoured, assorted dry fruits, massive can of green tea, giant bottle of gatorade.

9:00 PM Meet an Alaskan at the bus stop. He looks and sounds like a native, but later reveals he is originally from the Philippines. Massive white boy moment. Nice guy though.
9:30 PM Get to Emeryville station. Listen to Jamie Hay's latest EP on repeat.
10:20 PM The train arrives. There is a fat, hairy and shirtless guy hanging out in the doorway. I push in the line and get a window seat for my troubles. The guy next to me changes seats because he didn't get the window.
10:36 PM Start watching Syriana on my laptop. With every new grey hair I convince myself I'm more like George Clooney.
11:30 PM Syriana stops when I meet the person sitting next to me. He tells me his name is Montana, because that's where he is from. He has the demeanour of an ice-addict and is constantly shifting between his seat and someplace else.
11:54 PM Some guy on the train is snoring. Loudly.
3:47 AM I wake up. Montana has returned to his seat. I'm in all sorts of uncomfort from the seats.
6:30 AM I'm awake again, looking more like a contortionist than a man with a pot belly. The view outside is beautiful. The sun is shining orange onto the grass. Parts of the fields are covered in dew. The hills are alive with the sound of...
7:20 AM Went past a farm that was full of old demolition derby cars. America, fuck yeah.

7:30 AM Pringles for breakfast. The air in the unopened can has expanded in the altitude.

7:40 AM Train stops in Oregon. I make a start on my 680ml can of green tea.
8:40 AM The train is going past some massive lake. It's full of all sorts of birds. David Attenborough is doing backflips.

9:00 AM Read Maggie Cassidy by Jack Kerouac. Montana is back and napping.
10:30 AM Wake up. What just happened? Montana has gone again.
10:40 AM Great views of forest/canyon on other side of the train. Views ruined when other passenger reveals he is scared of heights.
11:08 AM Fall in love with Maggie Cassidy, the character, then the book.
12:07 PM Going through another epic lake. Like totally epic.
12:37 PM Start to think Montana is a ghost only I can see, like in The Sixth Sense.
12:45 PM Tragedy! Turns out Montana is real. I just saw him on the platform chasing after the departing train. Looks like he went off for a cigarette and missed the train on the way back. I believe all of his stuff is still on board, but no one knows his real name.
12:55 PM Double tragedy! The train is now full of rednecks.
1:08 PM I never shy from a challenge. This includes peeing numerous times on a moving train.
1:40 PM We're going through the suburbs. There is a carnival.
 1:47 PM Finished Maggie Cassidy, began The Prince by Machiavelli.
3:02 PM Just walked in on the Alaskan Philippino's wife in the toilet. She didn't lock the door. I'm absolving myself of all blame.

3:07 PM Everyone outside is waving at the train. Awesome.
Bottle station.
3:something PM I meet Seth on the way on the way out of the train. He is a extreme quad-bike rider turned media person. His website is and is worth checking out. He was lovely enough to arrange for his friend to drop me at the hostel, in return for a place to stay back home.
Anyway, it was a lovely trip and didn't feel like it took ages to get here. My Danzig shirt already made a fan.

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